Dragon's Tail

You saw a Dragon?...

Yep

A real-life Dragon…

Yeah

Wings and all?...

Of course

Uhuh…

...

Sat in that back garden there

Well not sat no

Stood then

Yep, stood right next to them flowers

You understand why I’m finding this hard to believe right?

...

Did you, I dunno… take any pictures?

Erm, well, no… didn’t really occur to me to

...Right…

What’s the matter?

Let’s just say it’s not the most likely of occurances

...

You know… Dragon… middle of the day… Sunday…

...

You’d think other people would of noticed that

Well no, you forgettin’ we got a fence?

A fence

Yeah, point of a fence is so people can’t see what we’s doin’

Well yeah but come on… this is a slightly different ballgame

I don’t see what the big deal is

You’re kidding right

...

A fantastical, fairy-tale creature just pops up in your garden, for no apparent reason?

No

What do you mean no?

It had a reason

Really? What was it doing?

Well, it just sorta stood by the pond there, sittin’ pretty still, then it nabbed itself one a my Goldfish and flew itself away

...It… flew away…

Yeah

In the middle of the day…

...Yeeess

And this is the first I’ve heard of it

Whadda ya mean?

No news story. No Police Helicopters. No evidence of any kind?!?

You can count the Goldfish if you like...?

...I’d rather not

I’m telling you: Dragon; my pond; Goldfish missing… it all adds up!

But Dragons are fictional! They’re a mythological creature that, if once real, have clearly all died out.

Well, not my Dragon

Oh really

Aye

Alright then, what did your Dragon look like?

Well, massive it was! Had long legs; vicious looking claws; ginormous wings, must have been a few metres across!

R...really?

Oh aye

Erm, anything else?

Yeah, it were white

White???

Yup, lovely clean white… I could tell it were white ‘cos it were stood next to washing line

I see… sounds unusual for a Dragon

Yeh?...

Well yeah… on account of they’re big flying lizards

...

You know… fire-breathing lizards with wings

Well not this one

............I beg your pardon

This one had feathers

............Feathers

And it’s beak were rate long

....You mean a Heron don’t you

?...

THE END

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A Poem Concerning Global Warming

Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust,
Water to acid and Iron to rust,
Fuel to pollution, Ocean to flood,
Peace turns to war and Oil to blood,
Ice-caps to liquid, Marble to sand,
Silence to gunshots and Rivers to land,
Forests to clearings, Cars into bombs,
Children to soldiers and Vietcong,
Lies to truths, Terror to fact,
Whole to missing and Solid to cracked.

But dawn to Dusk, seeds to Trees,
greed to Charity and birds and The Bees,
despair to Hope, hate to Love,
down to Up, below to Above,
extinction to Survival, end to Start,
death to Life and idea to Art.

The Earth isn't dead, there's life in her yet,
But let's stop poisoning her now, before arrogance turns to regret.

- a poem by GaZZuM

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A Poem Concerning Religion

As I was wand'ring though my mind
A shrine to Jesus I did find
It stood there neatly by a sign
"sit underneath me to unwind".
So I sat there whilst I looked around
At all the dead bodies on the ground
I asked "what is this carnage I have found"
But the shrine it did not make a sound.
I got up, and walked further still
'Till I found, atop a dreary hill
Another shrine, carved with great skill
Next to it stood Allah, dressed to kill.
"Stay back, my son" he said to me
"to find your own beliefs is the key"
"please hear me, and accept my plea"
"because religon, causes killing sprees".
All of a sudden it all made sense
The corpses that I had seen hence
Were victims of these terrible events
The war of religion, it's casualties immense.
I woke up from my day-dream state
With a brand new future to contemplate
So I made a decision upon that date
That I, not religion, shall decide my fate.

- a poem by GaZZuM

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Welcome One And All!!!

If you're here that no-doubt means that I know you anyway and begged you to come here on my hands and knees, but that in no way makes me any less ecstatic that you came anyway ^ ^

Here I'm gonna be posting:
- Any random stuff that comes to my mind: poems, stories or maybe even drawings
- Things that I find in my everyday life that I find amusing
- Pictures I have taken that either aren't shit or that make me happy/laugh
- Insightful links to (hopefully) broaden your horizons
- Fun things to fill everybody's waking hours with
- My thoughts on worldy happenings and issues, which will hopefully not be as boring as it sounds
- Films, games or anything I experience and think are worth sharing with everyone
- Anything interesting I actually do, which as many of you probably know, is a rare occurance at best.

This wil NOT be a place for:
- Telling you what I did every second of my day
- A diary
- Any kind of place for me to get depressing or sad
- Things that don't constitute atleast an "event"
- Any trouble of any kind

This will be a happy, entertaining, sharing place, with nerry a frown to be turned upside down anywhere.

So, now that that's out of the way, allow me to formally invite you all to:

MY BLOG!

Oh, and P.S. everybody hit subscribe over there on the right... you see it? Okay, good ^ ^ Thanks everyone!

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Story For The Elderly

His name was Bob, he was a bin man. One day Jim woke up and made his way to school, where all his work mates were waiting for her. He all went to get some breakfast. When they had finished their dinner they made their way to the construction site. At first, Alan was fine, printing papers like he did every day, but then she began feeling all funy. It was that time of the month. Luckily for Hannah she only worked weekends so seeing as it was a Thursday there was no cause for alarm. On his way to the bathroom Mark was distracted by an advert on television: “One Way”. Turning his car back round and going back the way he came he noticed something strange; it was October. With this startling revelation Janice fell off her stilts and into the lap of an over-excited patron whose hands began to go south. When the patron’s hands reached the crotch and felt Paul’s penis he got very angry, and you know what they say “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!”. Infuriated, she grabbed John by the breast and threw him out of the window. Landing on top of a bus however, luckily, was second nature to Sandra and so she came out of the ordeal relatively unscathed, apart from a twisted nut-sack and ruptured womb. Once the helicopter reached it’s destination Fred let go of the pilot and strutted into the shop. “8 ciders please” She told the barmaid, before settling down with a woman in the Highlands. They lived in a small cottage before they got divorced and were forced to share the kids between the 4 of them. Our hero, Mick, was forced with custody of all 87 children. Unable to feed them all with only her 2 breasts, Jemima had little choice but to adopt 13 more and start up a circus. Securing the bank loan for the airport was the easy part, the hard part was where to put it: on the left or on the right? After settling on putting it North, Brian made his way up to bed and set his alarm clock for tomorrow, after all, It was gonna be a busy day at the White House…
-GaZZuM

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The World's Most Enticing Job Advert?

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