If not, he's as close as mankind's gonna get anytime soon.
Posts
Salome - Chapter Four
12 years ago
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Monday, 25 May 2009
I think... I may be back
Well, having my own proper website failed quite some time ago, but that by no means... erm... means... that I'm out of ideas.
This blog was a bit of fun/time-wasting awesomeness (for me) that helped wipe away the filth of everyday life and replace it with the thin layer of Mr. Sheen-like creativity and expression.
Okay, so I'm alittle rusty, but it'll come back, I promise. I suppose all I can hope for is a kind (or unkind) word every now and then and a few repeat visitors.
Need I remind you that you can still read my old stuff, just browse through the categories on the right and see if anything tickles ones fancy.
So I guess, in closing, it's mediocre to be back, but before long it's going to be slightly above average... you can count on it!
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Monday, 15 September 2008
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Sunday, 31 August 2008
Cool Thing For The Day
I know, I know, I barely post here... I'm sorry, but this is worth waiting for. coolest thing you'll see in a long time
Friday, 22 August 2008
Monday Review Madness - Electric Six
Wow, I'm retarded.
So it turns out, after writing this on Monday, I hit save... but not publish. Bad times. So (slightly delayed) its Monday Review Madness! On a Thursday!
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Whoopsy!
I've seriously fallen behind on my blogging the past few days! That'll be, in no small part, due to the olympics and laziness. I mean, why blog when you can watch a Jamaicans run faster than trains!
Either way I haven't enlightened or entertained anyone for over half a week, so now I'm going to scour the internet and search for something mind-blowing...
please afford me a few minutes to do so.
alright, this'll do:
http://fantasticcontraption.com/
awesome physics-based puzzle game that'll keep you occupied for hours (if you're anything like me)
Enjoy all. (New story soon, promises, promises!)
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Tired Early On A Wednesday Evening
9 O'clock, Wednesday Night... and I'm tired.
This is pretty weird for me, normally I'm quite a nocturnal person; waking up at tea time, going to sleep at breakfast. I think my problem is my inability to have a rational sleep pattern.
I mean my 2 options are this:
-Go to bed at 9, wake up at 6am
-Go to bed at 6am, wake up at 5
And it's not like I have a choice in this, because last night I went to bed at 11 and still woke up at 7 the next morning. I managed to get back to sleep for a few hours but still, my body does NOT want me to sleep at normal hours.
Anyway, this relates to you because I haven't felt in a creative mood for a few days now. I mean, I've got several story ideas it's just motivating myself that's the problem (as the line under the website name suggests). I'm thinking my Stuntman monologue will be my next mini-project, when I finally feel up to writing the bugger!
Anyways, ya, as promised right from the start, here's something interesting to make up for you having to put up with my lack of Creativity:
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
I'm a wrestling fan... there I said it!
I've been watching wrestling for probably about 10 years now, and I love it now as much as I always did. I know it's "fake", I know it's just a soap opera with steel chairs, but can you honestly say that if you were watching a soap opera and somebody all of a sudden hit someone else in the face with a steel chair you wouldn't automatically think "This programme kicks 7 levels of ass!"?... Exactly!
It may be scripted, the moves may look more painful than they actually are, but that doesn't stop me enjoying an amazing match like this:
Bound For Glory '07 - Ultimate X Match: LAX vs. XXX
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Monday Review Madness! - Firefly
Well it's Monday so you all know what that means! Actually you more than likely don't, so I shall elaborate on my newest idea.
Mondays are boring. They suck. If I had a job I'd need to go to it! Which is why I thought "What if people had something to do on Mondays?..."
"What if" indeed, so, every Monday, I will review a product that can fill your Monday, your week... maybe even your life with joy and entertainment.
Alrighty, let's spank this pony! As the title may have teased (or completely given away if you're not too slow), this weeks review is of one of the best T.V. programmes of the past 10 years:
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Another Quick Update
Alright guys, it's not looking likely I'll have that story ready today, I got onto watching wrestling and there's some UFC on tonight that I'm gonna watch so yeah, tomorrow maybe?
In apologetic fashion let me introduce all of you who haven't seen it yet to the genius that is Muto:
Quick Update
Heya everyone, I got an idea for a story yesterday but I just wasn't feeling it so I'll probably get started on it tomorrow afternoon and have it ready by some time Saturday night ^ ^ I'm quite looking forward to it.
So, as I haven't posted anything today I thought I would do a short list of my favourite news articles of the day. Enjoy:
- Chicken crosses the road, then abandoned by thief
- Man accused of trying to rob store with empty box
- Urine bottles: Another result of high fuel prices?
- Bear attacks woman gardening
- Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro
- Spelling "truely atrosious," says academic
- Giant smelly flower puts on sex show in Belgium
- Grandma arrested for driving with child on roof
- Trail of Cheetohs leads to snack thieves in Minn.
But the winner is...
- "Nuclear Modified" music CD sparks Israeli alert
When Yasmin Sabah was given a music CD by a friend, she never imagined it would make her the target of a clandestine operation by Israeli security services...
I kid you not.
Alright. Goodnight World.
Friday, 8 August 2008
True Love Story
Note: This is the longest story I have probably ever done. It comes to about 2,000 words so if you're expecting 2 or 3 paragraphs you're gonna be sorely disappointed. Well, here we go, enjoy ^ ^
It started out like any other day. The alarm clock went off at the usual time of 5am and I begun the daily ritual: first I shred all the post from the day before (you never know who might be watching); then I set out my clothes for the day, I believe I decided on the brown pants with a peppermint tie because it was a Thursday; after I arranged my clothes I prepared my breakfast, nothing too special, just bread, margerine and a glass of warm water, I had to go round the house and turn all the lights off before I ate it mind (you never know who might be watching); whilst I was eating my breakfast I seem to recall the gas bill needed paying, I couldn't be sure though because I had shredded all the bills on the Sunday night (you have to shred those all at the same time, otherwise you get bad luck), I decided a trip to the Post Office was in order and so I sat there in my privacy chair until the post came.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
A Poem Concerning Global Warming
Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust,
Water to acid and Iron to rust,
Fuel to pollution, Ocean to flood,
Peace turns to war and Oil to blood,
Ice-caps to liquid, Marble to sand,
Silence to gunshots and Rivers to land,
Forests to clearings, Cars into bombs,
Children to soldiers and Vietcong,
Lies to truths, Terror to fact,
Whole to missing and Solid to cracked.
A Poem Concerning Religion
As I was wand'ring though my mind
A shrine to Jesus I did find
It stood there neatly by a sign
"sit underneath me to unwind".
So I sat there whilst I looked around
At all the dead bodies on the ground
I asked "what is this carnage I have found"
But the shrine it did not make a sound.
I got up, and walked further still
'Till I found, atop a dreary hill
Another shrine, carved with great skill
Next to it stood Allah, dressed to kill.
"Stay back, my son" he said to me
"to find your own beliefs is the key"
"please hear me, and accept my plea"
"because religon, causes killing sprees".
All of a sudden it all made sense
The corpses that I had seen hence
Were victims of these terrible events
The war of religion, it's casualties immense.
I woke up from my day-dream state
With a brand new future to contemplate
So I made a decision upon that date
That I, not religion, shall decide my fate.
- a poem by GaZZuM
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Welcome One And All!!!
If you're here that no-doubt means that I know you anyway and begged you to come here on my hands and knees, but that in no way makes me any less ecstatic that you came anyway ^ ^
Here I'm gonna be posting:
- Any random stuff that comes to my mind: poems, stories or maybe even drawings
- Things that I find in my everyday life that I find amusing
- Pictures I have taken that either aren't shit or that make me happy/laugh
- Insightful links to (hopefully) broaden your horizons
- Fun things to fill everybody's waking hours with
- My thoughts on worldy happenings and issues, which will hopefully not be as boring as it sounds
- Films, games or anything I experience and think are worth sharing with everyone
- Anything interesting I actually do, which as many of you probably know, is a rare occurance at best.
This wil NOT be a place for:
- Telling you what I did every second of my day
- A diary
- Any kind of place for me to get depressing or sad
- Things that don't constitute atleast an "event"
- Any trouble of any kind
This will be a happy, entertaining, sharing place, with nerry a frown to be turned upside down anywhere.
So, now that that's out of the way, allow me to formally invite you all to:
MY BLOG!
Oh, and P.S. everybody hit subscribe over there on the right... you see it? Okay, good ^ ^ Thanks everyone!
Story For The Elderly
His name was Bob, he was a bin man. One day Jim woke up and made his way to school, where all his work mates were waiting for her. He all went to get some breakfast. When they had finished their dinner they made their way to the construction site. At first, Alan was fine, printing papers like he did every day, but then she began feeling all funy. It was that time of the month. Luckily for Hannah she only worked weekends so seeing as it was a Thursday there was no cause for alarm. On his way to the bathroom Mark was distracted by an advert on television: “One Way”. Turning his car back round and going back the way he came he noticed something strange; it was October. With this startling revelation Janice fell off her stilts and into the lap of an over-excited patron whose hands began to go south. When the patron’s hands reached the crotch and felt Paul’s penis he got very angry, and you know what they say “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!”. Infuriated, she grabbed John by the breast and threw him out of the window. Landing on top of a bus however, luckily, was second nature to Sandra and so she came out of the ordeal relatively unscathed, apart from a twisted nut-sack and ruptured womb. Once the helicopter reached it’s destination Fred let go of the pilot and strutted into the shop. “8 ciders please” She told the barmaid, before settling down with a woman in the Highlands. They lived in a small cottage before they got divorced and were forced to share the kids between the 4 of them. Our hero, Mick, was forced with custody of all 87 children. Unable to feed them all with only her 2 breasts, Jemima had little choice but to adopt 13 more and start up a circus. Securing the bank loan for the airport was the easy part, the hard part was where to put it: on the left or on the right? After settling on putting it North, Brian made his way up to bed and set his alarm clock for tomorrow, after all, It was gonna be a busy day at the White House…
-GaZZuM
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